Sunday, November 4, 2012

Serious Fashion Talk: "Identify as..."

gyaru & lolita

I'm having some feelings about fashion/style. Time for a tiny lecture! 

As someone who jumps around between enjoying fashions just as often as she fandom hops, sometimes I worry about being accepted by a community? Here in Chicago, I spend a lot of time trying to 'invent' myself. Not re-invent!! My entire life has been a tale of brain-washing and put-downs that resulted in me being influenced very easily and never living for myself, always to please or help others. Though that's good, too!! I don't mind being the punching-bag or the 'martyr' and I love to be as kind as I can (but my cynical Sagittarius nature gets in the way sometimes or bugs people).

It's when you can't dig yourself out from under all these "feel wrong" layers that you begin to realize something strange happened in your development! When I moved away, I finally was able to start inventing my own fashion without any judgment.   


Gal and Lolita are both communities where I can dress up exactly how I love to and hang out with a bunch of wonderful people. I'm really trying to ground myself here in Chicago with some friends who share a similar interest.
This brings me to my main point; feeling a fashion or lifestyle as "right for you" or "relatable."

For me, that's gyaru (particularly himegyaru). I don't know what it is, but it really calls me. That sounds so silly, I know, but it just really feels like it fits. The kitschiness, the pink, the hair, the make-up, the superficiality, and even the cattiness! Even the negative aspects of gyaru are things that I can see in myself. There are so many different sub-styles to draw from, endless possibilities and lots of fun to be had! I feel like a gyaru and "identify" as such.


This doesn't mean that I can't occasionally dress lolita! (This is a point where I get nervous about some of the elitism in some J-fashion communities.) I don't "identify" as a lolita, but I know a lot about it and I love the fashion. On days when I want to go to a meet-up or just look kawaii as fuck, I've got some lolita to do the trick. Some people really strongly see themselves as lolita, even though they may not dress in the fashion. (just ask albinwonderland about that!) 

And of course, there are days when I could care less and wander around the city in skinny jeans and a t-shirt. Though these are days that I feel very little confidence in myself. I feel like an underdressed princess, because my brain is still stuck in fashion mode! 

            how i feel inside                                   how i look on the outside

I suppose my tiny wish is that no one says "You can never be gyaru!" because I occasionally wear lolita. But my main wish is to grow and improve!  I know how catty some gyaru can be, and starting to get seriously immersed in the style (and finally meeting other gyaru!) stirs some nervousness in me... but I'm not afraid and I'm incredibly excited! 

Though every time I tell my friends "I'm going gyaru!" they squint at me and say "those tan girls? they're so.... euuugh." (I think their mind immediately goes to MANBA haha) It makes me a little sad that they think that way, but I think that I've been trying to please other people for too long.

I think it's time to seriously jump into gyaru!

If you want to follow some more regular posts on gyaru, as well as health and fitness, feel free to follow project-euphemia on tumblr!

No comments:

Post a Comment